In honor of Thomas Friedman Day

A couple of recent examples of the master’s inimitable way with words.

First, from his May 21 column:

“Call it the triple deficit,” said Mr. Rothkopf. “A fiscal deficit that will soon have us choosing between rationed health care, sufficient education, adequate infrastructure and traditional levels of defense spending, a trade deficit that has us borrowing from our rivals to the point of real vulnerability, and a geopolitical deficit that is a legacy of Iraq, which may result in hesitancy to take strong stands where we must.”

The first rule of holes is when you’re in one, stop digging. When you’re in three, bring a lot of shovels.


Okay, so if I’m in a hole, I should stop digging, but if I’m in three, I should have lots of shovels so I can — stop digging? dig simultaenously? jump from hole to hole? how can I be in three holes at the same time anyway?

Damn you Thomas Friedman and your mindbending extradimensional metaphysical metaphors! You’re making my brain hurt!

(Also: who even knew there were rules of holes? If that’s the first, what are the others? Are there penalties for noncompliance?)

And then there’s this, from May 18:

I don’t doubt for a second President Bush’s gut support for Israel, and I think it comes from his gut.

You see, his gut support comes from …

Oh, never mind. That one doesn’t really need elaboration.

It’s no wonder Thomas Friedman is a highly respected pundit, and you are not.

(Bonus related cartoon here.)