An open letter to Bill O’Reilly


Dear Mr. O’Reilly,

I wanted to commend you for your excellent comedy routine on the April 23rd edition of your show.

Your hilarious impersonation of a raving conspiracy-nutcase was spot on! You nailed it, sir!

Exposing “far-left billionaire George Soros” and his “radical left agenda” of “[b]uying political power” and “influence” “under the radar” by “set[ting] up a complicated political operation” to “smear people with whom he disagrees.” Priceless! I think the evil billionaire is a bogey-man that should get more play in today’s comedy routines. This reminded me of those hilarious Mike Myers/Austin Powers movies with the smirking, bald Dr. Evil. Is there anyway you can get pictures of George Soros stroking a white Angora cat, by any chance? Be honest, when you said “Soros … can raise millions for politicians, who will do his bidding” you were ripping off Dr. Evil, weren’t you? Even Kent said it; “George Soros is really the Dr. Evil of the whole world of left-wing foundations.” I knew it! “Do his bidding!!”

* * *

The Bond villians always have those cartoonish, ridiculous goals, like stealing all the gold in Fort Knox or controlling the weather. So you riffed on that brilliantly by coming up with — “George Soros, an extremist who wants open borders, a one-world foreign policy, legalized drugs, euthanasia, and on and on.” “And on and on” indeed! And all of this from his secret lairs hidden deep inside hollowed out mountains “in Curacao and Bermuda and France.”

Crowley got in some good lines too. I really liked this one! “This is an incredibly well-oiled, brilliantly orchestrated machine. And as you pointed out, it’s also a brilliant way to get around the campaign finance laws in this country.” To brilliantly “get around the campaign finance laws” by complying with them exactly, priceless! The irony! And the part where she says “all this power in the hands of one guy because he’s got a billion-dollar fortune, where he can put his money wherever he wants.” That is amazing. She almosts makes it sound like she is actually suggesting that for someone to openly and transparently put money in support of causes and candidates that they agree with is somehow “dangerous” or “illegal!” The subtlety! He can “put” “his money” “wherever he wants.” Astounding!