Spent a number of hours in the car this weekend, due to a family gathering (happy 90th, Martin!), and along the way heard Bill O’Reilly complaining to his radio audience, at length, that Oprah won’t have him on her show. Apparently this is one of Bill’s new crusades, because he just spent at least five or ten minutes on his tv program exposing Oprah’s liberal bias! O’Reilly is especially miffed that Frank Rich was recently given a full hour on the program.

O’Relly: In the interests of full disclosure, Oprah has declined to interview me, even though I’ve had four number one best selling books including the current one, Culture Warrior. But it was the O’Reilly Factor for Kids that really confused me, here we have the bestselling non fiction children’s book of 2005, Oprah as you know is very interested in protecting the kids, so why then was there no interest in talking about the Factor for Kids? You can call it sour grapes if you want, I know I’m gonna get those kind of letters, but facts are facts.

Well, this is just a crazy guess, maybe Oprah didn’t think that a married man who likes to talk dirty on the phone to his female employees was actually a terrific role model for kids. (Incidentally, a little key to decoding O’Reilly — whenever you see him go off on a rant about “far left websites who just want to destroy people,” what he’s talking about is the fact that the Smoking Gun published Andrea Mackris’ court filing. The only reason O’Reilly still has a career as a public moralist is that Mackris was paid what was presumably a very large sum of money to quietly go away.) (Also: I swear, I don’t understand why any liberal who goes on that show and wants to throw O’Reilly off his game doesn’t bring up loofahs and falafels and sexual harassment. Mister Splotchy Face’s head would explode before the end of the segment.) (But I digress.)

Later in the segment, he brings Michelle Malkin in to back him up.

Malkin: It’s not just Oprah and the View that are dominated by liberals, but you have liberal women’s magazines too. You know, the question for us is, who represents us, who is giving voice to us, you know, we like fashion and beauty tips, we like to talk about celebrities too, and we don’t want to have Frank Rich rammed down our throat at three in the afternoon.

Anything I could add to that would be superfluous.