After the President’s conveniently-timed revelation about a foiled attack on Los Angeles, I contacted a few friends in the intelligence community and was able to get my hands on this IM conversation between Al Qaeda’s number two guy and Bin Laden’s second-in-command (on that org chart, everyone’s a VP).
OsamaMama : u there?
72Virgins : yeah, sup?
OsamaMama : martyr 4 life, bitch!
72Virgins : lol
72Virgins :
OsamaMama : turn on fox
72Virgins : k
OsamaMama : shes hot
72Virgins : who? the angry blonde?
OsamaMama : yup
72Virgins : dude, she looks like barney fife with a wig
OsamaMama : whatever. anns my gril
OsamaMama : girl
OsamaMama : i cant tpe today
OsamaMama : type today
OsamaMama : ARRGGGGGHHHH!!!!
72Virgins : nice.
OsamaMama : where you wanna hit the infidels?
72Virgins : i dunno. sears tower
OsamaMama : las vegas
72Virgins : space needle
OsamaMama : disenyland
72Virgins : disneyworld
OsamaMama : i just said that
72Virgins : no, you said land, I said world
OsamaMama : aren’t they the same?
72Virgins : no, dumbass
72Virgins : the white house
OsamaMama : the washington monument
72Virgins : brb
72Virgins : im back
72Virgins : the tallest building in texas
OsamaMama : the tallest building in los angeles
72Virgins : i got skills
OsamaMama : what?
72Virgins : nunchuck skills
72Virgins : bowhunting skills
OsamaMama : it’s a liger
72Virgins : flippin sweet
Seriously though, it’s hard to know what to think about all of these vague threats when the President is so blatant about politicizing them and mum on the details. Where these guys stopped at the airport or was this “plan” just something jotted down on a bar napkin? If revealing the existence of a spying program undermines our ability to fight terrorism, what are we to make of the President’s self-congratulations being on the cover of every newspaper? If it was so important to keep this incident a secret then, what were the changes that made it perfectly acceptable to blab about it now?