Stephen Colbert is a coward

(Speaking of the Democratic convention…)

I’m calling you out, Stephen Colbert. Sure you were all smiles and palsy-walsy in Boston. But I’m on to you, pal. Your ingratiating bonhomie doesn’t placate me, not for one brief moment. I’m on to your phoney-baloney populism, your pretense of objectivity, your charade of lucidity. I see right through you.

And I know about the falafels. Oh yes, I do.

You see, I’ve got a new book coming out in a couple of months that I’ll be needing to publicize. And if you had the courage to bring me on your show, you can bet that — as soon I was done publicizing that book — I’d expose you as the hypocrite you are, for all of America to see.

But you don’t have the courage to invite me on, do you, Stephen Colbert?

Because you, sir, are a coward.