Repent, America!

The last time God attacked those sinners on the Gulf coast, he made the storm look like a giant fetus[1] :

Now that Rita has been upgraded to category 5, it looks like God’s making the hurricane look like a giant boobie :

For those of you keeping score, if Katrina was divine punishment for abortion then Rita is probably divine punishment for pornography[2]. Funny how God, in spite of all the fair-weather friend treatment he’s been receiving lately, makes an effort to shape natural disasters around the pet peeves of the religious right. So if the next category 5 hurricane is shaped like a long mushroom, I think we can all infer Jesus’s thoughts on “protecting marriage”.

1 : Personally, I don’t see it, but I never saw the word “SEX” on Ritz crackers or understood John Lennon’s obsession with the phrase “turn me on, dead man” either.

2 : To be fair, it could be also punishment for the equal rights amendment, universal suffrage, hippy chicks who don’t shave their legs, Billie Jean King beating Bobby Riggs, birth control, or women who wear pants.