Apparently the festivities at MSG have convinced Michael Berube to abandon his leftish ways and join the winning team.
How do you know you’re a Republican, Arnold asked? If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, instead of the people being accountable to the government, you’re a Republican. Well, no kidding! Again, you won’t hear this from the liberal media, but independent studies have proven that the Bush presidency has been the most accountable presidency ever and more than twice as accountable as Clinton’s. In fact, you could say that the “W” in “George W. Bush” stands for “We Have Been Extremely Accountable.”
Also, Arnold said, if you think your family knows how to spend money better than the government does, you’re a Republican. Damn straight, Kindergarten Cop! In the past year, my family has initiated a bold new spending program designed to bolster the alternative-rock industry, and next year we’re unveiling our plan to provide health care for all Americans except the ones who don’t live with us. Also, don’t forget to check out the new Bérubé Turnpike we’ll be building in a town near you. It’ll be a toll road, so that we can raise the funds for the light rail system we’re working on for 2009.
Some of you might doubt that my family can pull this off. Well, some of you might just be economic girlie-men! The kind who get their panties in a bunch about a little deficit here and a little job loss there! You people don’t have health care? You can’t afford a visit to the dentist, you say, and you’ve got this inflammation that you’re worried about? You’re a bunch of fags!! Why not just go to Hollywood and become DemocRATS, you lily-livered gum-inflamed liberal whiners?