Several people confess that they’ve never done more with a computer than check their e-mail. Others admit they haven’t even gotten that far. An impromptu contest develops to see exactly who knows the least. There are lots of contenders. I’m listening to them battle for the crown of incompetence as I’m dealt a new hand of cards when a frightening thought occurs to me. Our clueless bunch is now part of the technical-support staff for one of the world’s top three computer manufacturers, and in seven days we’re going to be taking your calls.