More free advice

August has some ideas for a certain candidate who, according to the pundits, needs to appear “more Presidential”:

* Announce proudly that no president has ever done as much as him for human rights.
* Dress up in a crotch-accentuating flight suit and land a jet on an aircraft carrier.
* Brag repeatedly about a sub-standard college grade point average.
* Get arrested for public rowdiness at a football game.
* Attempt to recite a cliché adage at a press conference and promptly forget how it goes in the middle of saying it.
* Mount, and promptly fall off, an unpowered Segway scooter.
* Drop his dog in front of cameras.