Well, yes, there’s been quite a lot of activity in my absence, but I’m confident that you’re all up to speed on Rush’s illegal drug activity, the various pathetic Republican damage control efforts on Valerie Plame (including Novak compounding his mistake by blowing the cover of the front company she worked for), and Arnold’s sexual harassment and professed admiration for Adolf Hitler.
But did you catch Laura Bush at the National Book Festival, reading the following poem authored by none other than her husband?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I’ve missed you.
Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too
Barney’s still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.